SHORT CUT

Yesterday Betty learnt how to paint and take a short cut to fame

Betty: so I take the pencil, dip it in paint and then I put a few strokes with feeling and touch?

Paintmaster: that's right Betty, it is all about stroking that paper gently and consistently

Betty: and will I get extatic?

Paintmaster: well..Van Gogh felt in seventh heaven when he painted

Betty: greatt, let's start then

Paintmaster: Betty, what are you doing?

Betty: well, I don't need my two ears. I can hear fine with one

Paintmaster: Betty, it is not about imitating anybody in particular here..

Betty: sorry, what did you say? I can't hear you that well.

Paintmaster: Betty, put the ear back in place. Put the ear back, I tell you!

Betty: (puts her ear back) Sorry. I got carried away. But Vincent van Gogh he-

Paintmaster: don't you Vincent me Betty.

Betty: I think you should make that shortcut to fame master. Come here, let me do it

Paintmaster: Betty, now STOP it!

Betty: oops sorry...all right then....cheerio!

SEXY SHOPPING

Just as Betty wanted to go out for shopping at the local grocerystore, she got sexy

Betty: o dear, there's that sexy itch scratching my belly again!

Local supermarket: Hi Betty! come in, there's great promotional packages today. Low prices, great products

Betty: O no supermarket, it's a bad idea to shop when you're hungry

Supermarket: then go for sexy shopping. The whole world already went inside....come on Betty

Betty: all right then (runs in and starts pulling out 58 confused and excited men carrying shopping baskets)

Supermarket; now Betty, what's that all about. Did something get bigger than your stomach?

Betty: well, wasn't it a promotional package?

Men: she attacked us, then we got sexy because of her sweet voice, cute cheeky mouth and lovely red dress

Supermarket: (frowning) I am sure it's difficult and all that Betty, but did you have to be that greedy?

Betty: o well, you're right...all right then... (starts pushing 57 men back in) I'll keep one.

Supermarket: I thought you were hungry?

Betty: I know, I am such a flip flopper. Come on now Richard. Good luck with the gang bang Supermarket

Supermarket: Betty, come back here!

Betty: oops....all right then,... cheerio!

BETTY AND BAMBI

On Monday Betty went out to the woods to talk to Bambi

Betty: Hey Bambi, how are you?

Bambi: o, I work out, good food, lots of friends and all that shit

Betty: and what about your adventures. Still good?

Bambi (weary): no adventures...no..these days I am much more of a loner

Betty: what's the problem?

Bambi: I am ugly Betty, real ugly!

Betty: Hell no. Bambi, you have got a great body, you have got lovely big eyes, your hair is soft and shiny and your teeth-

Bambi: which teeth, you cannot even see them Betty!

Betty: sorry, I was just projecting something on to you

Bambi: you watch your words, you little red dress. Don't get me started here

Betty: I know, my act... it's a problem

Bambi: so change that before you open that cheeky little mouth of yours

Betty: yeah well...we do not all have such a fabulous big mouth like you that bites so fiercely into the tender flesh of-

Bambi: (growls) Betty

Betty: Oops....sorry. all right then...cheerio!

GURU

Betty drinks an authenticity drink, so she becomes completely true to herself

Betty: so now I will be totally peaceful about anything that happens in my life?

Guru: exactly

Betty: so it means that my choices are truthful, and the world can hardly stop me from feeling happy and loving?

Guru: I cannot contradict this

Betty: that's wonderful! I wish everyone on earth felt this way

Guru: eh..well, please be careful with those kind of wishes. I once knew a guy, his name was Jezus....well, it all ended tragically and very rapidly too

Betty: but why?

Guru: God knows why. Nobody seems to have inner peace when it comes to peace

Betty: well, legs and fingers crossed then

Guru: all right then, cheerio!

BETTY TELLS A JOKE

Two man trying to steal each others money, sitting in front of two little piles of money.

Man I
I will steal your money, with respect for your keenness

Man II
That is wonderful. Then I'll steal some of your money with respect for your cleverness

Man I
Remember, you should be the victim first because I am the thief

Man II
In that case, I will feel sorry for losing my money and I will pity you for needing to do it

Man II
But that is a terrible thing..to pity me- like you have no respect

Man I
Don't worry, that too will pass


A little bit of food for thought. Do we really need money to feel respected or not? And why,...why do we need to make money the main goal in our lifes?