BettyBras (see:www.bettybras.com)

Cartoons of hot reporter and agony aunt Betty Bras www.bettybras.com. All your questions answered for free!!

Friday, June 30, 2006


Betty got stuck with half of the glasses of Professor Periwinkle which cannot get over its anger

Glass: He is such a terrible glass, after all we have been through together!!

Betty: 1 out of 2 marriages fails

Glass: Leaving LIKE THAT --it is so MEAN BETTY!!

Betty: Well, maybe he is still a bit immature

Glass: I think it is just a low act, he sank very deep in my opinion- he has NO moral

Betty: Wasn't he raised by a No Contact Lens? addicted to cleansing alcohol?

Glass: (distracted) Yes, he was- he never had love- but he is SUCH a wooz- don't you agree?

Betty: Maybe he felt insecure...

Glass: I think he is just an AWFUL EGOCENTRIC COWARD - what do you think?

Betty: As I said, maybe he had his reasons

Glass: (exploding) BETTY! I JUST WANT YOU TO AGREE WITH ME and stop this REALITY CHECKING!

Betty: oops sorry...all right then...cheerio!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

BETTY AND GLASSES



Today Betty meets a pair of lost glasses

Glasses: Oh, I feel so hopeless. Anybody there! Help!

Betty: Hello glasses, what do you need help for?

Glasses: Well, I am trying to escape from that awful Professor Periwinkle

Betty: What has he done to you that made you so angry? and bitter? and mad? and hopeless and--

Glasses: yeah yeah, enough--you don't know the professor Betty. He has terrible habits- at night he puts me next to his artificial teeth on the cupboard, and they are terrible gossipers- I am a victim of pestering Betty!

Betty: Have you tried talking to the professor?

Glasses: He is NOT a professor. He leads a double life as a stamp collector

Betty: are you sure?

Glasses: I am not blind Betty

Betty: (sighs) all right...maybe we can find you a new nose

Glasses: I refuse to sit over any more noses- unless it is yours (naughty)

Betty: Stop it silly, I can see perfectly fine. No, I am gonna pick you up, rub you a bit and put you on Ebay

Glasses; But Betty-you cannot pick me up just like that and treat me like some object! that's abuse!

Betty: But we'll say you're Armani, wouldn't that be superb?

Glasses: You are a terrible girl, trying to make money of me! leave me alone!

Betty: Oops all right then...cheerio!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

BETTY SPLITS IN HALF


Today Betty felt very torn about things

Betty: My gosh, I feel so torn: what place should I choose for living my life? city or countryside?

Guru: we are all here to experience the light of our spirit, the joy of ...

Betty: traffic jam---living in the countryside usually means being in traffic jam for hours to get to the city so...

Guru: no, no traffic jam, we are here to LOVE one another and to...

Betty: make money---I need to make money so I can eat and feed my family...

Guru: yes, family is important and good intentions and a little bit of sacred....

Betty: ambition- when I want to improve myself the city would feed me very much

Guru: (sighs) Yes, we need to feed ourselves with trees and flowers and spiritual energy

Betty: spiritual energy__ that is what I need. That means living close to nature though-- WAIT!!

Guru: (sighs) so you found the answer?

Betty: I should have more sex. It is both very nature and very city, you know sex and the city Guru?

Guru: BETTY!

Betty: Oops all right then...cheerio!

Monday, June 26, 2006

BETTY FALLS IN LOVE WITH HAWKSLEY (click here)





Dear Hawksley

I fell in love
yesterday around 4pm
It kinda of made me want to cry
but you and a few Canadian candles
is what the world needs

Your deep loving Betty




for more: www.hawksleyworkman.com

BETTY talks to an OISTER


Betty talks to an oister who wants to multi task

Oister: (drift drift drift float) busy busy

Betty: Hi oister, any sexy news today?

Oister: (drift) o no, way too busy

Betty: how do you feel?

Oister: frustrated (sighs) I had plans to work on watermanagement but then I had to attent a meeting about Terror Nets and then on top of that the Japanese company called me to complain about the seaweed I had sent and oh oh

Betty: o dear, you have trouble multi tasking

Oister: maybe

Betty: why don't you use your anger a bit- start yelling

Oister: I can't yell... No, perhaps I will go with the flow some more

Betty: you are such a cool oister. And yet, you guys excite me like no other

Oister: Betty!

Betty: oops all right then.,..cheerio!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

BETTY BALETTI


Dear Professor Periwinkle
It is true that life in cyberspace can get very difficult. But imagine life on our own planet; there is so many confusing signs that I often ask myself how we will be getting out of here. Of course, there is death but it seems a rather external factor. I am in need for guidance from within like you. So please, try to think happy thoughts and appreciate that you are in good health.
I yesterday was invited to a BBQ and I met a person who had Syndrom of Gilles de la Pirouette. Everytime I tried to say something that person turned around. It was very difficult to continue talking since that person was not able to stick to the matter. He had to turn quite a few times, which was interesting at first but in the end it drove me nuts.
Then there was lots of sausages getting burned. I felt empathetic, of course. They screamed!

I hope to see you soon in better condition; if you do get to cyberspace again, say hello to Tom Cruise, Remote Viewer and that Spiritual Woman who travels the fourth dimension. They are happy to making good conversation with
you.
(Now I have to go to have coffee with Mr. Mashimoto and talk about my T-Shirt Business),

cheerio!

Betty

Saturday, June 24, 2006

BETTY WORLDCUP


Betty talks about the World Cup with Mr. Karmizovsky who thinks he is an expert

Betty; Have you been watching the World Cup lately?

Mr. Karmizovsky: Yes, it is all very bad

Betty: Oh, really?

Mr. Karmizovsky: They don't know ghow to put the foot at the ball. It is very terrible

Betty: But they are our top players, Mr. Karmizovsky, all their life they have been training

Mr. Karmizovsky: Phuah, it is training for nothing, for babies

Betty: So what do you want them to do?

Mr. Karmizovsky: Make good strategy, put good technique, be like great army

Betty: Did you go the army?

Mr Karmizovsky: Of course not. I am artist

Betty: So you have been playing lots of football then?

Mr. Karmizovsky: of course not. I am guy. I don't like ballgames- ha ha

Betty: so...how come that you became an expert on football?

Mr. Karmizovsky: Betty, don't make me feel like stupid cow! I am NOT coward!

Betty: oops all right then...cheerio!

Friday, June 23, 2006

BETTY and FRENCH TABLE


Betty meets a tipsy French table which loves wine

French Table: Bonjour Bettine -hip- ca va?

Betty: Ca va tres bien, how are you yourself?

French Table: Well, oll is fine except for there iszz no more wine ha ha- hip- pardon

Betty: I heard there is too much wine in Europe, they are gonna cut about 400.000 acres of vinyards

French Table: yesze, there will be nobottle to talk to -hip- zhey are all gone

Betty: what are you going to do?

French Table: I am going to -hip- South Africa and Australia to meet new bottles and start new businezz -hip- haha

Betty: How interesting, what about the money?

French Table: I worked in a chique restaurant -hip- last summer and saved a leut of money

Betty: How fascinating

French Table: Why zon't you come with me Bettite, we will go togetzher and have good time ha ha

Betty: Yes, but only if you invite a charming French Lover to have dinner with me, every night

French Table: And zhen you probably want to ghave sex on top of me?

Betty: He he he

French Table: Ah, you are so vulgar Bettine, it iszz terribulle. I say NO

Betty: Oops...all right then...cheerio!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

BETTY and THE BIG FIDDLE



Betty meets a depressed gypsy hiding behind a big fiddle

Betty: Why don't you play some Mozart for me you cool gypsy hunk

Gypsy: Ah yes, Mozart is my soul, but... nobody appreciates me playing (cries)

Betty: How come? the music of such a big sexy fiddle must be fabulous

Gyspy: Well,...people say it sounds like the noise of two turtles making love

Betty: Really? How fascinating! why don't you play us a charming little tune?

Gypsy: All right then, but you will have to go some distance, because it's very loud- three days walking usually does it

Betty: ai, that sounds like breaking up

Gypsy: Yes- but beauty and pain go together very well

Betty: but I don't like saying goodbye to people

Gypsy: You are just like the others Betty (depressed)

silence

Betty: Do you like sport?

Gypsy: (long silence)

Betty: Why don't you try playing the flute?

Gypsy: (long silence)

Betty: Oops all right then,....cheerio!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

BETTY SEEKS INSPIRATION


Today Betty has a writers block and tries to get inspired by others

Betty: i am blocked I am blocked

Spiritual woman: why don't you come talk to me about the end of the world in 2012

Betty: I don't believe in that

Spiritual woman: then you are a pessimist

Betty: oops all right then...cheerio!

Monday, June 19, 2006

BETTY BIRD


Betty meets a succesful Bird who is a Car Inventor

Betty: You have created a wonderful invention for city birds working in forests, what can you tell us?

Bird: Indeed, I just invented the Nestler. Spacious, comfortable and pure freedom. A car to care for

Betty: what a wonderful solution for forensic birds. Do you drive one yourself?

Bird: Yes I do. I recently bought a big spacious nest up in the city, about 6 hour drive from here and I am very happy

Betty: and..how much does the Nestler cost?

Bird: (laughs) well...eh of course it is around 55.000 euro, but then you do have extra facilities like cute little sidewings etc.

Betty; ooo, I would have to work a lot of time to buy that!

Bird: Me too Betty. I do work 100 hours a week. I hardly see my nest. On the other hand, this car is pure freedom
.
Betty: I see. How about the traffic jams?

Bird: I still need to find a solution for these terrible traffic jams. But since I have become President of the company, I thought about buying a private plane

Betty; but you are a bird.

Bird; that is correct. I am a bird

Betty: birds don't fly anymore?

Bird: Betty! I don't like people taking my ideas not serious!

Betty: oops, all right then, cheerio!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

BETTY GETS RUDE


Today Betty speaks to a Softly Singing Ass

ASS: Butty, it iszz me, I need to talk to you

Betty: Hi ASS, what happened?

ASS: my French lover has abandoned me for another woman

Betty: o dear, what do you want me to do?

ASS: you need to punish him Butty, punish him with your sharp tongue and incredible wit

Betty: all right, where can I find him?

ASS: well, he is usually in some restaurant toilet or sauna or kissing somebody's ass- pardon me

Betty: so you want me to go there and say: you terrible man, you are full of sh-

ASS: No, do not say things like that Butty! I want you to help me, I want you to make him come back

Betty: sorry, I did not know you were so sad

ASS: yes Butty, I am sad, but it iszz normal huh! we had a great relationship

Betty: so, you are a bit of a sad ass

ASS: Butty! boohooo, why allways make things worse

Betty: oops sorry all right then...cheerio!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

BETTY and TALKING PAPER



Betty talks to Mr. Toppan from Toppan Forms Co about Talking Paper, his newest invention

Betty: Mr. Toppan and Talking Paper, welcome

Mr. Toppan: Say hello to Betty

Talking Paper: (shy) Ghello

Betty: Mr. Toppan, you invented Talking Paper.

Mr. Toppan: I gave it life

Talking Paper: he got me a new job

Betty: you did not like your old job anymore?

Talking Paper: it was boring

Mr. Toppan: he needed something new

Betty: And now you are being watched and people want you to talk?

Talking Paper: yes

Mr. Toppan: (proud) correct. He speaks all languages

Betty to Talking Paper: Do you like being sold? Do you enjoy laying in the window all day, piled up, half naked to make lots of money for Mr. Toppan?

Talking Paper: (shy) hm-I would like to go to school and become a document

Mr. Toppan: This is ridiculous! I opened a bank account for you! you will get all the money you need the moment you are mature enough!

Betty: (firm) Mr. Toppan, let me ask you this: are you a PAPER PIMP

Mr. Toppan: Ms BETTY! shut up. Talking Paper is none of your BUSINESS. It is MINE!

Betty: Oops, all right then...cheerio!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

BETTY BODYPAINT


Betty meet an angry albino person, who organizes a protest manifestation against bodypaint art

Betty: So what is it exactly that the Albino Association is trying to achieve with the anti bodypaintart manifestation?

AA: First of all, some albinos have a tendency to idealize body painters as well as hairdressers and wigmakers. That might leave those artists communities with the wrong impression of albinism. With this protest we want to show that we are not interested in being compared to white canvases. Second...we want to show people that we are no heartless evil freaks just like in films like that Da Vinci crap movie...since the 1960 we have been the victim of wrong impressions

Betty: and how are you going to demonstrate?

AA: We are going to march. Through streets. But, all kinds of streets, little streets, colorful streets, streets with trees etc. and we are going to yell. We will yell anti bodypaint slogans. And we are going to raid, like furious wild men who show their strength

Betty: O really, It will be wonderful food for the press

AA: There will be no press coming

Betty: why not?

AA: because photographers have no understanding of how to use flashlight. We will be depicted as red eyed rallying nutters and we have no interest in that

Betty: but there will be some publicity I hope?

AA; no, except for people of Body Paint Magazine. Because they need to understand who we are-

Betty: and can they make photos?

AA: Betty, you seem to have no understanding of albinos. When we have red eyes, it might sometimes mean that we are getting really pissed off with someone..

Betty: oops all right then! Cheerio!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

BETTY EBAY


Betty wears her wonderful new Betty Bras T-Shirt. Be like BETTY, be PRETTY!

  • Buy at Ebay click here!!*
  • Saturday, June 10, 2006

    BETTY STARGATE




    Betty meets an exhausted Remote Viewer

    Betty: Hi Remote Viewer, did you meet anyone sexy in space today?

    RM: Haven't landed yet girl- my spirit has to travel all the way back from a parallel universe

    Betty: o really? you don't really look that one-hour-ago

    RM:(closes his eyes) zooff zoooff gnamf gnamf !!! cling cling- bwhooaaa it goes so fast!

    Betty: O Lord, I think it is so exciting this space travel! Did you see Tom Cruise?

    RM: HOLD ME BETTY! HOLD ME REAL CLOSE! I feel it---coming like a galaxic explosion

    Betty: (firm) I can't. Sex with psychic overly sensitive guys is very much against my principles

    RM: Betty! You have to touch me now! I am almost arriving! it is dangerous Betty!

    Betty: I know, you come all by yourself babe. Just like before. I am sure the FBI will much approve of it

    RM: BETTTYYYYY!!! now I have fallen into a black hole, my God it is so dark up here!

    Betty: oops all right then...cheerio!

    SUNNY WEATHER


    Betty talks to a WeatherManiac from a little village

    WM: What a lovely weather today. It is nice and warm

    Betty: It is lovely today, I agree

    WM: Indeed...but actually it is a little too warm. Don't you agree? A little bit too...pressing

    Betty: Let's go scare some kids in the pool then

    WM: I don't know. The pool is fresh but often, a little bit too fresh don't you think?

    Betty: How about ice age?

    WM: too cold, don't you think?

    Betty: and desert? too warm?

    WM: yes, too warm

    Betty: so what IS good. Stormy weather? Lightning? Cloudy sky? No weather?

    WM: (freezes) Betty, don't you make fun of my weather observations (turns his back on her)

    Betty: I don't understand what it is all about with you and the weather. Does the weather make you...upset?

    WM: (nodds)

    Betty: Oops all right then....cheerio!

    Friday, June 09, 2006

    DISTURBANCE


    Betty receives a phone call from Mr. Mashimoto from Japan

    Mr. Mashimoto: Bitty! Ghow aw you? It is Mr. Mashimoto from Mashimoto Calling Operations Tokyo Inc.
    Business is good yeah?

    Betty: Hello...Mr. Mashimoto hold on just a second; I was just making tea for Silent Corner and me. One second, I will take the kettle off

    Mr. Mashimoto: Kettul? what's that? youw dog? hahaha!

    Betty: No, it's some sort of a teapot...Hold on, Silent Corner says something...what did you say, Corner?

    Silent Corner: Don't talk so loud Betty, I want you to be silent when you talk

    Betty: Oh yes...sorry, what did you say Mr. Mashimoto?

    Mr. Mashimoto: Say? who? Not say anybody! (silence) ...
    Ghow is T shirt business? Good yeah?

    Betty: (clunk cling clang) Sorry for the noise. I have NO T-shirt business Mr.Mashimoto. How is your business?

    Mr. Mashimoto: Ha ha funny girw ha ha. Why not come ghere! come to Tokyo do business with me!

    Betty: Yes ha ha. Sorry Mr.Mashimoto,...Silent Corner says something-- (annoyed) what is the matter with you, I am on the phone!

    Silent Corner: Sorry Betty, I just have to tell you that you spilled water on my wooden floor here, it is bad

    Betty: Hello? hello?

    Mr. Mashimoto: And youw mother? ghow is youw mothew?

    Betty: She is very well thank you. Sorry, I have spilled some tea. I have to clean it. Mr. Mashimoto, I have to hang up now!

    Mr. Mashimoto: Hang up????!! no Bitty no hang up!! you are way too young!!! no hang up please! Come to Tokyo!

    Betty: O no, not again....(sigh) Why don't you hang up first then Mr. Mashimoto, it will all be okay

    Mr. Mashimoto: Me?!!! hang up Bitty? (silence) oooh

    Betty: NO NO not hang yourself! no no not that! I mean, stop calling now!

    Mr. Mashimoto: STOP calling? (cold) allwright Bitty. If you want me to. I NEVEW CALL YOU ANYMOWE!

    Betty: No I--

    Mr. Mashimoto: Sillyw Bitty, saionawi kutimishi massi massi (hangs up)

    Betty: Oops....all right then...cheerio!

    Thursday, June 08, 2006

    FOR THE LONELY PEOPLE

    Betty wonders why society is called society, since most of us do things alone

    Betty: I feel very lonely today

    Individualist: hehehehe Betty, that is how it is. One for God and God for all or something

    Betty: but I don't like it. We have cars to feel free, big houses to feel authorised, work to be together and money to do things. But if you don't have that, you won't get by. On the other hand those who have that, feel alone.

    Individualist: hehehehe, get out there and get what you want. Don't listen to other people. Do your own thing man yeah..

    Betty: but I would love to listen to others! I would love to have a picknick with the whole society and just chat away about dreams and visions and ideas. And then dance and sing together and sleep

    Individualist: (confused) oh come on, that is so old fashion. I mean, yeah, that is so yesterday

    Betty: you never feel lonely?

    Individualist: yeah, when I am in a traffic jam or when I am having a day off. Or when I cannot get reach anybody, or when my Internet disconnects. Or, when there is no TV, or when I can't get anything nice to eat. Or when I am in my big appartment all by mysself because I could not find anyone to sleep with.

    Betty: so when is this?

    Individualist: hardly ever

    Betty: liar

    Individualist: all right pretty much every day. But Betty! don't confront me with that because I have no one to talk about these things when you are gone

    (long silence)

    Betty: (softly) cheerio!



    When you feel lonely, listen to Hawksley Workman: he is a Canadian singer. His poetical lyrics and wonderful music totally cheer you up

    Wednesday, June 07, 2006

    BOOK


    Today Betty wants to share with you the excitement about the book

    PLAYING THE QUANTUM FIELD by Brenda Anderson

    Brenda Anderson


    about how to make better and high energy choices


    cheerio,
    Betty

    Tuesday, June 06, 2006

    BETTY GOES PLACES


    Betty discovers an NLS (neurotic lost soul) at the local Supermarket

    NLS: I feel so lost, I am in a bad place you know like-- like

    Betty: the exit is near the counters

    NLS: You are so right; I need to exit. it is getting too difficult to be on this planet of FEAR

    Betty: Just DO it boy

    NLS: (stops himself) but it might be hard and I just entered five minutes ago. Do you think they'll keep track on how often I enter and exit?

    Betty: I don't think it is really a problem; just show them your money and it will be fine

    NLS: Come closer. I am getting all confused. How do you know these things? Are you an alien?

    Betty: well....

    NLS: Come on, a STRAIGHT answer please not this wishy washy shit. Are you an alien or not? Are you from Belgium? the new planet they just discovered?

    Betty: yes. I am. Ork ork. I am gonna kidnap you-ork-within 5 minutes- and then I am going to have sex with you. For twelve hours-ork. It will be great. We'll be going to Belgiumland, we'll make a long violent journey together. And Bruce Willis is coming. Isn't that wonderful? Ork. You will not know if you're dead or alive, kissy kissy little fruitcake

    NLS: HEEEELP!!! POLICE!!

    Betty: oops all right then.....cheerio!

    Monday, June 05, 2006

    MOTHER EARTH



    Mother Earth: puff puff uuummmmmmm

    Betty: hi Mother Earth, what's up?

    Mother Earth: Misery is up. It is sooo hot these days! puff puff

    Betty: I see. Do you feel well? You got a fever?

    Mother Earth: Ummm, this week I had the quakes and shivered Indonesia into troubles

    Betty: it might be a fever. Or.. the new car of Mr. Karmizovsky, my artist friend. He bought it second hand]

    Mother Earth: ummmmm ummmm maybe got to turn now ummmmm puff puff otherwise the others don't have sunlight. oooof it is hot no?

    Betty: Now you have the shakes. Any chance someone might fall off the planet?

    Mother Earth: I will try. BUt it is very hard to turn and to shake at the same time darling.

    Betty: how about George B-

    Mother Earth: BETTY! one more time that name into my ears because I will have to explode! And now fuck off because I am getting overturn here!

    Betty: oops...sorry all right then,....cheerio!

    Sunday, June 04, 2006

    BETTY meets WICCA


    Betty speaks to a Wicca with a magic wand

    Betty: Hi witch, how magical to meet you

    Witch: blessed be, merry meet, merry blessed etcetera etcetera

    Betty: any news?

    Witch: the birds are good, the earth is kranky, nature unhappy and the people are evil.

    Betty: and you?

    Witch: I am PUNCHU daughter of Kaneira, Goddess of donkeys, hunting at the dark holes of the Kunurin, world of the Poodles, preserved by the Wild Beast Sakimakyak, who holds the golden tower of Doom between his black teeth. Then with the Orb, the glow of--

    Betty: right- how is your headache? you told me you had a headache last time

    Witch: terrible. Sometimes I can hardly think. It is terrible. And nothing works you know, nothing of my poudres

    Betty: want a smash in the face?

    Witch: would it help?

    Betty: definitely. According to the wise medicine spirit of Jonas, who hides within the White Coat and seats in the West, holding the Book of Science and the Torch of St. Luke, a slap in the face is a miracle remedy

    Witch: all right...But before you do it...I have never heard of this Jonas. What God is he from?

    Betty: (smacks the witch, she crashes on the floor) he is from the earth

    Witch: O gosh, that felt good. What did you say- he is not from the stars?

    Betty: no, his last name is MacGuiness, he is my dokter. He is from St Luke, the famous hospital

    Witch: (explodes) Betty! I don't believe in Western crap medicine!

    Betty: oops sorry, cheerio!

    Friday, June 02, 2006

    BETTY"S SECRET


    Of course Betty did not really appreciate that unstoppable stream of e-mails with which you tried to make me reveal my secret right away. Can't you readers be a little bit more patient? I mean, you were acting like a cattle of hungry Mexican sheep. I am sorry to say that but it's true! beehehehe.
    The comment about DURANGO is true (see comments). My cousin revealed it cleverly. thank you BERNANDO.
    For those of you who do not know it, DURANGO is a little Mexican town where I lived before traveling. I can tell you that the Durangonians are the most clever people on earth, since they know the secret of communicating globally without use of lap top, mobile phone or internet. Of course when I left Durango at age 9, I had no intention of putting them in danger so I never gave them my trance-planeterial address. When I got kidnapped and later on had to prostitute myself, I had no intention of involving my family. But now, I might be up for a little family reunion.
    So Bernando, you can expect that address today...

    Durango town people are wise. They speak when it is time. They put their money where their mouth is. They are in tune with nature. If you want to know how to be in tune with nature and still have a healthy cashflow, which doesn't require you to kill yourself over a full bankaccount, then you might want to talk to us, Durangonians. When we need money, we don't go kill each other, or rip each other off, or drive around like mad and neglect the family, or steal it, or invent crap all day to persuade the naives, No, we just TELL the universe. Yes you read that right. We just tell what we need and the next day it will be brought to us at our door. Usually wrapped in a little bag. You don't believe it? I mean, when your soul needed a body, a mother and a father came your way no? Or do you not believe that EITHER? So how stupid can you be.

    Ah yes, running around all day to get the money in, and stop seeing your family friends or kids, THAT is clever. Or stealing it. Or depriving people from their natural resources, or their rights. THAT will help you. Or kidnapping someone. Or making people believe YOU have the solution to things. No, WE Durangonians have our own ways and we won't give it up. Not even when you dress up as a tourist and start to come our way. NO, not even when you show your breasts (although, that might be fun)
    My real secret has nothing to do with DURANGO but much more with Concrete Overlay. That is not true.
    It is much more of an invisible thing but since I have talked a lot, I need to recollect energy and get back to you tomorrow.
    Now, be cool and remember, Your Way should be the High Way. Then, tomorrow I will reveal you my inner secret of being in abundance.

    Cheerio!

    Thursday, June 01, 2006

    BETTY OPENS UP


    Today Betty decided to tell you her true story. Of course Betty is not a person like you. She is Betty and that makes a whole lot of difference. She was born in a big family from a small town in Mexico. Out of privacy reasons we cannot reveal where exactly that town was located, but it was always hot in that area and there were many little white houses and donkeys.
    Betty was sweating like mad underneath he colorful clothing and her enormous zombrero.
    When she became 9 years old, her mother told her to leave her family to spread happiness in the world. Of course Betty wasn't very happy. At first she thought about beating her mother up but since she loved her mother so much she kept her fists into her little red pockets. Then she got sad. She thought she would be incredibly lonely and never find any new friend. But her mother assured her she would be fine. 'Your home is where you are' she said. Instead of talking to herself all the time, Betty would have dialogues with all the people she would encounter at her travels. Her mother warned her (psychic as she was) for a Japanese guy with a call center in Tokyo. But furthermore, really anyone would be fine to talk to.
    And that is how it happened. Wearing a red dress and little black shoes, Betty wandered off to spread dialogues wherever she had the chance. At first she thought she would not stay away for too long and that it would just be a short journey. But after a few years had passed by, she realised that her traveling would become a life long adventure.
    So that's how it went. Betty misses her 7 brothers, her lovely grandmother, her mother, her father (especially his grand moustache dipped in the usual avvocadomousse) and her dog Bountybitten very much. But everyday, she puts on a cheerful attitude and tries to make conversation all over the world.
    Betty travels a lot whilst carrying a little bag on her back, filled with interesting luggage. If you see her, just start a chat because she might be able to answer all your life questions. In her bag she carries her 10 most important tools: humour, tactlessness, tact, emotional drama, emotional intelligence, wild ideas, 1 dumb idea, cool thoughts, half an hour of fucked up timing and horrific sexyness. The latter is a little weird. but Betty IS a little weird. After all, she raised herself and then you get weird outcome.
    However, Betty is here to take you on a journey and give you some clear information about how to be more authentic and happy. Stay in tune and learn how to shape your mouth when you say cheerio!, how to use your bottom in a better self promoting way, how to dress, how to think positive, how to deal with naggers, how to handle the dull, how to collect stamps, how to live life orgasmically, how to interact with strangers, how to handle fertility problems, how to handle HIS fertility problem, how to get into the Power of Now, how to meditate and find ZEN, how to get enlightened, how to get pregnant, how to get unpregnant, how to get pregnant again, how to stay young, and how to stay away from evil men with long beards and big hands (especially the red haired).

    So reader, that be it for now
    Next time, Betty will reveal you her most preserved inner secret


    cheerio!

    BETTY GIVES ADVICE II


    Betty wants to say something to the people

    Do you really believe you can change your life? Yes you can!
    Here is the case of a silly girl who got lost in her own ways. She stated that she hated the country she moved to.
    So she left for another country stating it was much better than the first.
    Alas. Although the food was good; the people were all the same. She started to hate her life and her decisions and herself and other people too. She started to eat buckets of mayonaise, in the mean time recalling her terrible life in Holland as she disliked the Dutch. Then she would eat lots of chocolate out of frustration and state she couldn't stand the Belgians because no one wanted to speak her language. And then, out of total self destruction she went to MacDonalds in the mean time thinking about how awful this Bush was. If he could just stop existing then then...This girl exploded after eating 34 kg of French fries. But it didn't matter because when she was dying she remembered how difficult the French people were. And she was happy to die.

    Betty thinks this: your life will be full of problems and obstakles anyway, why make it more miserable by thinking it is not right? Make a joke about your problems! say something the reverse! It will be much better.

    Go; I AM AFRAID OF AIRPLANES. (then feel the fear)
    THen say: I AM AFRAID OF SENALPRIA. (I bett you don't feel fear and you can go to Mexico)

    Point at the plane and say, o look, it is a wonderful and very exciting enalp. I have never been in an enalp. I should definitely try it. And YOU WILL try it.

    Changing your thoughts will change your emotions. It really works! TRY!

    Life is a wonderful trick of nature. Find the magic and you will feel so much better!

    Cheerio!