BETTY GIVES ADVICE

Today Betty meets a woman who desperately seeks for her life purpose that got lost somewhere in a park

Seeking woman: I left it here, I am sure, and now it's gone

Betty: did somebody steal it?

Seeking woman: I guess so. I left it here on this bench and now....(panicks) Gosh I feel all lost. What do I do?!

Betty: do you know where to go?

Seeking woman (cries): no, I am all lost now!

Betty: o come on now...get a grip. Just follow your NOSE

Seeking woman: (starts to cry) Betty! I don't HAVE a nose!

Betty: yes you do, say it after me: I have a nose. I have a nose.

Seeking woman: I...have a a ...boohoo...nose. I have no, yes boohoooooo nose.

Betty: now walk

Seeking woman: walk....follow my nose...

Betty: you see it is easy

Seeking woman: but Betty, I can't get my legs to follow my nose. They are way too far away from each other (cries)

Betty: you are one of those difficult people that I encounter on this planet. Now stand straight, breathe and just walk

Seeking woman: how about the nose?

Betty: forget about it. Just think you don't have one

Seeking woman: boohooo boohoo boooohooo Bett----y Bett----y but you just told me that I have a nose...boohoo

Betty: oops....all right then....cheerio!

BETTY BIRD

Today Betty heard about His Holiness the Dalai Lama who came over to visit Brussels, Belgium. He arrived last Monday, accompanied by some lovely red dresses to give a talk on buddhism. Although it takes about 486 steps to get enlightened, meaning about 19 lives, 18 very good reincarnations and spending about 3000 miserable years on planet earth, it is quite a recommendable path. Not only does it save you a lot of worrying, nagging, complaining, (making you look old anyway) but it also lowers your electricitybill. Becoming enlightened in pure sense after all, means stepping out of the dark. It really notices.

if Betty would reincarnate she would come back as Betty Bird. She would fly around with brave little wings and bring messages for anybody in need for care. She would send YOU a message also.
So, tell Betty, what kind of message would you like to receive? Check your mail tomorrow!

http://www.dalailama-belgium2006.org/

BETTY AUDITIONS FOR TV

Last week Betty went on tour to get attention

Casting director: CONGRATULATIONS! you did so well on the auditions, we want to call you back! Can you make it next Friday?

Betty: No, I have to go to my grandfather to clean his artificial teeth

Casting director: you say disgusting things Betty. Why don't I schedule the call back audition on Friday so I don't need to see you again

Betty: well, if it is really necessary to not see me again...

Casting director: It is. I will have to call you back some other time

Betty: All right then. My grandfather shares his teeth with my grandmother. if don't help them clean it, they'll get into a fight. A horrible fight that might ruin their marriage.

Casting director (vomits): these semantics are killing me Betty. And my artistic sense

Betty: poor you. You must be so sensitive.

Casting director: don't know. You just disgust me

Betty; Why don't I call YOU back. It will be much easier

Casting director: you are so scary Betty! so scary. Don't you dare to call me back!

Betty: but I would love to see you again!

Casting director: why?

Betty: I love talking to you. I love the way you speak, so passionate and you really fit the role of a very lonely artist who needs to find true love. But then, this objective is hard to reach since you are so sensitive that it is hard for you to be in the outside world. And then we'll get the scene that you are in your room and your naked neighbour calls you and...

Casting director: Betty! you are NOT the director!

Betty: oops... all right then....cheerio!

BETTY LOVES COMPUTERS

Today Betty tries to buy some hardware at a computer store

Betty: Hi, I would like to attach this hugh screen to my Apple lap top. What do I need?

Nerd: you need a...ehm... ADS-VID4 adaptor, wired with 2300KGB connected to XY-687... What kind of lap top do you have?

Betty: a G4

Nerd: too bad. Our adaptors cannot be connected to the old computers anymore.

Betty: It's not an old computer. it is four months old

Nerd: In Apple terms, that is ancient

Betty: But I have bought four new lap tops within a month to keep up with the newest technology. Are you telling me that there is no hardware left that I can use for the latest one? You bad bad Apple store person!

Nerd: All right calm down please (types frantically) damn, my computer has problems today. I cannot enter the system

Betty: I want you to buy a new computer now and FIX my problem!

Nerd: It is not the COMPUTER being wrong, it is an internet problem, the provider fucks up

Betty: get a new provider then! And FAST, we're living on the treshold of a new era, you got to think FASTER, ACT faster, and SHIFT paradigms like nothing else! Keeping customers waiting is OLD FASHION treatment. I got to get global within 5 minutes!

Nerd: Don't be so uptight! Listen, if you buy a new computer you will get an airplane. For free. It is an offering

Betty: I just got a free radiostation plus channels, nerd, when I bought my mobile phone. Now FIX my problem!

Nerd: (nodds) nope, it doesn't work. (calm) I advice you to buy a new computer

Betty: (frustrated) YOU got to buy a new computer and FIX it. Otherwise I will sew you!

Nerd: For what?

Betty: For making me spill my time on you. My rate is 125 per hour

Nerd: Betty!

Betty: oops...all right then...cheerio!

Professor Periwinkle

Today Betty got a comment from a lovely professor from somewhere on the planet and shares her advice

Dear Betty,
Thank you for encouraging me to think positively about my shaking hands. I now tell everyone that I'm just jaggering around when I fall over or spill something. It helps me a lot and makes me admire you even more. I think you have a great career option as a guru.
I have followed your suggestion of pouring tea into my ears to stop the yellow liquid coming out. I thought this was a great idea because it suggested balance and that is something very zen, or is it ying and yang. Yellow liquid out, yellow liquid in. The only problem is that I sometimes can't hear now, especially on buses. Is this natural or should I worry about it signifying something seriously wrong that might lead to my being put down?
Your devoted follower,
Professor Periwinkle

Betty advices:
A. to keep tea-ear pouring going, but not while riding on a bus.
B. to avoid noisy environments like zoos, train stations or industrious looking cinemas. At those places the brain's subtle balance or equilibruim easily gets disturbed, definitely resulting in symptoms like shaking, drueling or fidgeting
C. 30 days of good tea pouring (attention! the amount should be equally poured into every ear!) will definitely stop yellow liquids flowing out and also you can use big cottonballs but not the white ones.

cheerio!

Betty


2:45 AM

Betty Da Vinci

Today Betty tried to meet Tom Hanks and ran into a doormat

Doormat: where do we think we're going?

Betty: we are going to meet Tom Hanks. Is this the house?

Doormat: I personally don't think Tom would want to meet strange girls right now. He is on a secret mission

Betty: Listen silly rug, Tom personally called me to meet him, so get out of my way

Doormat: (pissed off) for you babe, the only way is the auuwgh, are those high heals?

Betty: (steps on him and rings the bell) Hope he answers..what's the code? 1...2...5...6 no 87....45...

Doormat: you're not supposed to know the code. That is the whole deal Betty. The code is secret

Betty: gosh you are so hairy I cannot even see my pumps anymore. Now tell me the code hairy mat!

Doormat: the answer is 13-3-2-21-1-1-8-5, ehm something with a lame guy...(sighs) it's ancient

Betty: Okay can you repeat that? (her mobile rings) oops, someone is ringing me. O, it is from Japan! Hello, Betty here!

Mr. Mashimoto: Bitty! Ghow are you?! Ghow is T-shirt business? Mashimoto Calling Operations Inc. Tokyo- hahaha

Betty: Mr. Mashimoto! Why are you calling?

Mr. Mashimoto: ahahaha funny girl just calling- ghow is your business? come to Tokyo?

Betty: I have no T-shirt business. I hang up now, I am trying to meet Tom Hanks

Mr. Mashimoto: ooo nooo Bitty! no hang up please!

Betty: ...later! (hangs up) Now YOU, are going to tell me exactly how I get through this door and meet Tom

Doormat: Tom is in the Louvre. And he is not alone. He is with Audrey, Betty.

Betty: all right, so fly me to the Louvre. Come on! (squats)

Doormat: (sighs deep) all right, we are about to take off...keep your hands inside the carpet. Refreshments will be brought at an altitude of several thousand yards --oh my God, I have got a bad hairday. I can't go to Paris like this!

Betty: oops...all right then....cheerio!

POSITIVE THINKING

Betty tries to think positive and asks advice from her GURU

Betty: so my question is, how can we think positively when there is so much negative around?

Guru: there is only positive thinking possible when you know what negative thinking is..

Betty: right. so when I say, o this is really shitty, then it is good.

Guru: exactly

Betty: I think what you say is really shitty

Guru: that's fine.

Betty: I think it will never help anybody

Guru: exactly

Betty: You might want to end it all

Guru: well Betty...a little bit more respect wouldn't hurt you

Betty: you see, it is hard to keep thinking positive no?

Guru: Betty! Come on Betty! negative thinking is not about insulting anyone!

Betty: o, that all depends on who you talk to.

GURU: no! no! that is so horrible to say. you make me sad Betty really! You should say things that are happy and light!

Betty: Well... first you say negative is good because it lives next to positive and then I try it and you get all mad and say you never want to hear negative things anymore. Well, how do YOU stay positive when there is negativity around?

Guru: I don't know! You're right. There is nothing we can do, once we're negative we're negative. Booohooo (cries) I feel so sad that you think my help isn't any good!

Betty: Don't be sad! it was only a joke!

Guru: yes yes. (he cries, goes off)

Betty: oops...all right then...cheerio!

BETTY BRAS SUPERSTAR

Hi Superstar

Hi Betty

How are you?

Super

I thought so

Want to be a superstar? Mail your wishes to Betty. Being a superstar is EASY she says! Learn how...

LIFE AND ART

Betty meets Mr. Karmizovsky, a famous artist

Mr. Karmizovsky: Hello Ms. Braski. What you want from me?

Betty: Hello- I read this brochure about your fabulous two week art workshop over summer

Mr. Karmizovsky: Ha ha, workshop. Funny girl, you take art serious. Haha. NO.

Betty: NO? No workshop?...in the brochure it says-

Mr. Karmizovsky: (reads) Ah, it is my brochure? Ah yes, I remember now. To attract foreign people. But, no there is no workshop. Only me. I am artist.

Betty: Oh, that's good too.

Mr. Karmizovsky: Yes, Ms Braski, you want to come to me and study. But it is CHANGE. BIG CHANGE. You give up your life. You choose art. Then your art is your life. Your life is your art and your art-- well anyway. Ms. Braskievsky, it is clear now.

Betty: Okay. So how long will it take? I already have a master of art degree and-

Mr. Karmizovsky: All your life

(silence)

Betty: So...I give up my life for art then my art is my life and then my life is my art.

Mr. Karmizovsky: yes yes

Betty: So what's the difference?

Mr. Karmizovsky: What difference?

Betty: Between life and art. If my life is my art and my art is my life what is the difference

Mr. Karmizovsky: NO difference! No difference at all. Life and art is one.

Betty: But you mention both the whole time. Life and art you say. But if there is no difference, why you mention the two ideas.

Mr. Karmizovsky: Ms. BRASCOVIC! I was born and raised in a disciplined way. no food. no drink. no nothing. I MAKE art. you come with your stupid idea about workshop. But no workshop. There is ONLY art. And now you oofffsp-p

Betty: O dear, what's going on?!

Mr. Karmizovsky: My -art my -art my...hh ..art

Betty: Oh dear, are you in pain!?

Mr. Karmizovsky: No....kgggprrrqvvvvrrww (grabs his chest) my h- h- eart...(he drops on the floor and lays still)

Betty: My goodness. That was beautiful mr. Karmizovsky. What drama. Great intensity. But...what am I gonna do now? (looks desperately around) maybe I'll call someone.

Mr. Karmizovsky: (jumping up, wiping his pants) hahahahaha. There, now you were afraid no? You see now? ART and LIFE together.

Betty: (pissed off) It is H-art, it is Heart. With an H!

Mr. Karmizovksy: No GH-ART. ART! ART! Whatever, fuck you Ms. Braszzkkkv-things (walks off) I am master. ART MASTER! you nothing!

Betty: Oops all right then...cheerio!

BETTY GOT BIOLOGICAL

Betty got confronted with babies and got into a biological conflict.

Young mother: poody poody! da da da!

Betty: o dear

Young mother: Don't you think my kid is the most beautiful kid in the whole world?

Betty: I have not seen all the kids in the world yet but..yes he is cute

Young mother: I know, he IS the cutest, poody poody da da da! O look, he moves!

Betty: (grabs and shakes her) GET OUT! GET OUT of this overpossessive obsessive hormone tunnel vision. It is a trick of nature!

Young mother: Betty, are you mad! Let me GO I say. What is wrong with you?

Betty: (out of breath) well, just give it up!

Young mother: why Betty? are you jealous?

Betty: what me? O no, I am not jealous. I would never like to cuddle with something that can't talk and has no sense of humour. No, I suffer from deep biological aversion. But it is GOOD. I would never steal your baby. Or try to do something to it. The aversion is well..it is BIO-LOGICAL

Young mother: I see. (takes her baby) we're going honey. Aunt Betty will calm down by herself

Betty: oops...all right then...cheerio!

HOW TO BE FRIENDLY

Betty tries to get into a bureaucratic country by landing in her hot-air balloon just across the border

Authority person: well well well, are we an EU member?

Betty: I am. well, it depends on how you look at it. In a way, I don't exist

Authority person: hm. Give me all your documents with your name, address, bla bla the names of so and so bla bla bla and this and that bllblslrbslldlsubns (........1 minute.....) your dokter, first wife, second wifes stepson, blgns sndsmdsnma m (....) your dentist, his brother, wife of his brother and your dog.

Betty: all right, I will fly home and get all the documents.

Authority person: I am afraid you need permission for that.

Betty: so give me permission

Authority person: I am afraid I will not

Betty: so what do I do...- how about I show you my breasts?

Authority person: in a case you want to bribe me, you need to sign another document

Betty: all right. where do I get that?

Authority person: my colleage has the forms. But he went out for lunch. Till four.

Betty: all right. So tell me what do you like?

Authority person: I like aircrafts

Betty: wonderful. so why don't you step on board of my hot-air balloon. We'll fly a little around

Authority person: I can't...I would need permission for that

Betty: Of course. (gives him a paper) sign here.

Authority person: (signs) all right. That will do. Where do I go?

Betty: enter the little door up there and take a seat in the basket. I will remove the sandbags and then..we'll fly off!

Authority person: (walks) Fantastic. What a wonderful day. I like your breasts by the way...Betty

Betty: (behind him) thank you. It's my high ribcage that makes them look firm

Betty takes her scissors and cuts the ropes of the sandbags. The balloon goes up, in it sits the authority person

Authority person: no wait, what are you doing! You need to come too!

Betty: but you NEVER said that I was allowed to leave. You never gave permission!

Authority person: but you DO have permission. please! please let me down!

Betty: I am letting you down

Authority person: Betty!

Betty: oops....all right then...cheerio!

SM MOSQUITOES

Betty went camping and got harassed by a swarm mosquitoes

mosquitoes: zszszzzzswarm zzszszzsswarm

Betty: my goodness, so many moskitoes up here. I should wave my little skirt and blow them away. phoey phoey

Swarm mosquitoes: sszszzzsswar-zzsszssscary-zzzskirty

Betty: there! you ridiculous monsters. Go away! Let me walk along the river without making me crazy

Swarm mosquitoes: zssszszzzzzzsssssilly betty sszzzwaarmmm

Betty (suddenly very philosophical): all they have is their lives, why am I so selfish that I need all that space to walk along the river. Why can't I tolerate them to fly around me and trying to do their little dance? Betty, you selfish nest, you be open now, you embrace nature

Swarm mosquitoes: zzzzzzwwwwwoeshwoesh sssssswzzzzwoesshhhh

Betty: Hello mosquitoes! I am a friend of the earth. I respect you all. kissy kissy! mmm kisssy kissy!

swarm mosquitoes; zzzzwwwwwzzzzzazy ssssshhhhiiiissss crazzzzzyyyzzzzzz ssswarmmmm

Betty: yes, do your little dance for me, your dance of joy and respect for life! Wait...I'll do it too and we'll dance together!

Betty lifts up her little red skirt to have more room for her legs and does a little Betty dance. It goes hop la la hop lala.

mosquitoes: hihihihihi hahahahaha

Betty (angry): ungrateful little bastards. All my love and understanding and no respect for it! There! (slaps them with the newspaper) The newspaper on your ungrateful little assess. I'll punish you!

Swarm mosquitoes: zzzzzzzzzzzwwwwwwwstingggg! ssssss mmmmm ssss sssssss mmmm SSSMMM stingggg hehehehe

Betty: oops...all right then! cheerio!

LOVELY SUGGESTIONS

Although Betty had great thoughts for visiting places today, she wondered what other people would like to read about.
Do you have any place or person that Betty should have a chat with? A website, that she shouldn't miss? An interview with someone really really interesting that needs to be done NOW?

Please tell Betty, she'll be happy to blog your suggestions!

SILENT CORNER

Betty: today I feel I should discover what to do with my life. Maybe I should go and meditate. Ah, there is a silent corner

Silent corner: Hi there. Why don't you come sit with me and we'll have a lovely little chat about the latest trends in dogkeeping

Betty: but you are a SILENT corner. people find you to become quiet and find inner stillness and happiness

Silent corner: ..o,...you sound like a perfect bore. No, today I would like to have a lovely little chat. And a cup of tea.

Betty: but silent corners don't usually drink tea. (looks around) where would I get some anyway?

Silent corner: oh, just think girl. If the English can find tea, even on that island, you can find some tea. why don't you just take some leaves from that tree up there.

Betty: all right then. I'll be back in a sec. But...I do find it a little peculiar. (sneaks off)

Silent corner: now wait. you should do that in silence. After all...this is a silent corner

Betty: how am I going to do that?

Silent corner: go slowly, concentrated, focus on what you're doing and don't make noise

Betty: (whispering) all right...I go to the door...slowly slowly...silently...I open the door....I go through it....

two minutes later...

Silent corner: you got it?

Betty: yes

Silent corner: how do you feel?

Betty: I don't know. Now let me handle the tea now

Silent corner: you have no thoughts?

Betty: no

Silent corner: good

Betty: (realizes) oooo I got it. Of COURSE! the tea ritual. Being silent, slow, focused and very concentrated. That was ZEN, you had me master that ZEN feeling. Thank you so much! hahaha what a funny SITUATION ..you silly silent but wonderful and very very intelligent and smart corner you-

Silent corner: now don't ruin it Betty.

Betty: you are SO right. We should have a chat. This is SO interesting. I didn't realize at ALL

Silent corner: BETTY!

Betty: hm?

Silent corner: You scare me. You sound silly and very much in need of help.

Betty: but I just wanted to express myself. YOU are very very wise and what you did was a great gift to my soul. I really feel-

Silent corner: Betty calm down now! and leave please

Betty: oops...all right then...cheerio!

Betty loves to go visit places and people. Do you know any place, website or person that Betty should visit? Or that she should have a conversation with? just post!

BETTY MAKES A BAD MOVIE

Today Betty tries to make a bad movie. Preferably American English spoken

Betty: hi, I would like to make a bad movie

Desperate producer: bad movies are a pain.

Betty: I love pain. So how do we make one

Desperate producer: we'll organize a very bad promotional campaign, with terrible posters and a horrible website with Sandra Bullocks- then we edit a few images in a studio somewhere

Betty: and what will it be showing?

Desperate producer: eh bad sex, unreal deaths and clumsy violence

Betty: but those are the same ingredients as of good movies.

Desperate producer: yeah, but the chronology is different. In bad movies they first have sex, then they die, then it all gets violent

Betty: and in good movies?

Desperate producer: (sighs) in good movies it's the reverse.

Betty: so, tell me about the bad movie.

Desperate producer: it is very simple. first everyone in the story has trouble reaching an objective and gets pissed off about that. Because they are pissed off they go out and kill or steal or rape, or have sex or hurt some enemy. Then they reach the objective and feel JOY. They are no bad people, they were just a little unhappy. After all...we are humans. And then....well then there is lots of music, mostly violins and everyone feels very enriched.

Betty: that's great. I want to start right away. Let's make a K-film

Desperate producer: all right. You know any actor?

Betty: I like George Clooney

Desperate producer: George got over the bad acting phase. He is good now

Betty: but he could go back to bad

Desperate Producer: no Betty. George can't go back to bad. Stronger, he never was a bad actor

Betty: I know he is a good actor. So, he could play a bad one

Desperate Producer: that's it. that's it!... But then, he is too costly

Betty: then we'll tell him he did a bad job and we'll pay him less

Desperate Producer: now, don't you start Betty. I love George. And he loves me. I know that. I worked with him 15 years ago

Betty: than we'll ask Keith O'Hara

Desperate producer: Keith? but i LOVE Keith. I don't want anybody to think he is a bad actor

Betty: listen, let's keep the objective here. We need to make a bad movie and I want you to find bad actors

Desperate producer: but I don't see how to make a bad movie if I only know great and wonderful actors

Betty: yeah, but are they in films? I mean, are they in GOOD films?

Desperate Producer: no they are at home. Now Betty, I start to feel a little desperate. And a little confused. Maybe it is a bad idea to make a bad movie. I don't know. Maybe I want to make a good one, but then...I don't have money

Betty: it's a great emotional conflict

Desperate Producer: go away Betty. I need to have space. I might get pissed off even.

Betty: oops...all right then...cheerio!

BETTY DISCUSSES BEAUTY

Today Betty got a casting call and discusses beauty

Betty: now tell me mr Casting Director, do I have any chance to get into the next commercial on TV?

Casting Director: Betty, in casting it is about being beautiful or being special- and you're special. So the answer is yes.

Betty: aren't we all special?

Casting Director: no we're not.

Betty: But Christina Aquilera has a great song about-

Casting Director: Christina Aquilera has already been casted. So she can sing whatever she wants. Now Betty, I would love to help you out but first you come sit on my lap. Will you do that Betty? (grins)

Betty: I am special no?

Casting Director: yes you are... Now come sit on my lap

Betty: will you give me a special role?

Casting Director: (grins) it depends

Betty: depends on what?

Casting Director: on my mood. And my mood depends on the way are gonna sit on my lap..now come here little princess.

Betty: (still sitting) am I getting the special treatment?

Casting Director: See me as a father figure Betty, who supports you whatever silly things you do. Now just get over here and DO AS I SAY!

Betty: I am not sure. You seem to be in a bad mood.

Casting Director: now don't you act like a special princess Betty- you have NO reason for acting like that!

Betty: But you just told me that I am a special princess!

Casting: yeah yeah yeah, whatever. We're ALL special all right? Now come here and sit on my LAP. You want to be on TV so you better start moving those lovely creamy buttocks of yours!

Betty: I am confused. you'll have to get the ideas about being special right. you're a flipflopper mr Casting Director

Casting Director: YOU shut up now Betty. And I will determine what is going to happen. I am the CASTING DIRECTOR. Now you are a housewife and I will be playing a little boy who spilled something on the carpet. And you get angry with me,..

Betty: I have trouble imagining myself doing that mr. Casting Director.

Casting Director:BETTY! shut up and do as I say! do as I say! You have to change your attitude Betty! we're NOT impressed by this one we're just (grabs his heart) o noo...o gosh...my heart...come here...

Betty: just a second, I'll have to check my schedule

Casting Director:..BETTY!...

Betty: oops...I am late...all right then...cheerio!

BETTY TALKS TO JAPAN

Today Betty made a phone call to Japan and talked to Mr. Mashimoto from Mashimoto Mashimoto Call Operations Inc.

Betty: hello Mr. Mashimoto. What's up?

Mr. Mashimoto: hai Betty. Not much. Why you call?

Betty: Because you have a calling business. How is it going?

Mr. Mashimoto: business is no good!

Betty: why?

Mr. Mashimoto: Ha ha, funny question. You have business?

Betty: eh...no. But it's no problem really

Mr. Mashimoto: hai. you come to Tokyo. We make business for you

Betty: great. when shall I come?

Mr. Mashimoto: soon

Betty: soon?

Mr. Mashimoto: hai hai, you see that too. But first Tokyo!

Betty: Tokyo? Soon? when? How? Hai?

Mr. Mashimoto: You sound little strange now. Maybe you call back later okay?

Betty: I see. You want me to hang up now?

Mr Mashimoto: yes, it's better. For business.

Betty: well,...bye

Mr. Mashimoto: you hang up?

Betty: yes...bye

Mr. Mashimoto: bye. no...wait! (sudden) hang up! ooh no. No hang up!

Betty: but you said I should hang up. So I hang up. Goodbye

Mr. Mashimoto: ooo no! no hang up! That is very bad. No hang up now. It is not good for you...you take medicine and feel good, all right? no hang up! Is for Japanese old people. Not young girl like you

Betty: Mr. Mashimoto, don't be crazy. I want to stop talking

Mr. Mashimoto: noooo Betty, no, you are to young. No stop talking. All right, you come to Tokyo, I help you. Work for my business. Make money, we go to city, do nice things! you like Karaoke?

Betty: Mr. Mashimoto. Stop it! There is nothing wrong. I want to hang up!

Mr. Mashimoto: (crying) you are wonderful girl Betty! It is not good! No hang up! (cries more) I will hang up too!

Betty: Mr. Mashimoto!

Mr. Mashimoto: oooooaaaauwwwhhaaaaooooowaaahhh

Betty: oops...all right then...cheerio!

BETTY WHY TELL ME WHY

Why Betty doesn't want to ask why-questions anymore and goes to the WHY-master to discuss the matter

Betty: Dear WHY master, is it really necessary to ask 'why' all the time?

WHY-master: why are you saying that Betty?

Betty: everybody needs to know why this and why that...In science, in art, in religion, in sport, in general, in the beginning, in the end, etc. In short, the why business only leads to new science, new art, new religion, etc. because no one ever finds the right answer

WHY-master: you make me nervous Betty. If we wouldn't ask why, and would not find answers, we would not progress.

Betty: doesn't everything progress by itself? Like nature which progresses by itself without asking questions

WHY-master: that's right Betty. But WHY does it progress by itself? it's interesting.

Betty: is it? how come?

WHY-master: Because that way we can detect problems and then we can prepare and make life more comfortable.

Betty: I just think why-master, that it doesn't change a thing. We might find some great answers but then there is no one else telling us that the answer is right. We're having a monologue with ourselves. Or then someone else will come and contradict us and at some point our dialogue ends anyway because we do not live forever to see what will become of our questioning

WHY-master: Betty don't annoy me now. I don't understand why you question all this. It's stupid

Betty: don't question my question, Master. I am trying to research here.

WHY: well, why do you come up with this idea to question thousands of years of great science. I don't understand Betty why you want to go into this. It is so silly. Of course we need why-questions, why would you want to question those? The only way we human beings can understand where we come from and what we are doing here is by determining what our position is. I mean in terms of cosmos and all that. And then and then and then...exhausted)

Betty: And then what?

Why-master: I am not sure. Then it will all be easy and clear

Betty: and why would it all be more easy and clear? Wouldn't we have even more knowledge than, and even less security about what is what?

Why-master; I am confused Betty.

Betty: Well, don't kill yourself over the matter

WHY_master: I am tempted. (sudden) I am the WHY MASTER. What am I supposed to do else!

Betty: that's it MASTER. That is my question. WHAT are we supposed to do if we wouldn't run about questioning everything.

WHY-master: BETTY! this is MY job! You are ruining my job!

Betty: oops sorry...all right then...cheerio!