CLICK ON THIS PICTURE FOR A SONG

Betty wants something

PP: "I don't think I understand what you really want"
BETTY: " What all christmas trees want Professor"

BB plays Santa Claus at night

BETTY: A man should always remember to darn his socks!

PP and BB in a sleigh

BB: "Isn't this just so inspiring, Professor?"
PP: " I think I'm getting sleigh-sick"

CLICK ON THIS PICTURE FOR A SONG

Betty: Well? Don't you like it? It will teach you positive thinking.
Professor: I'm afraid I might lose it.

PP gives a present

Betty: "Thank you so much, Professor."
Professor: " I didn't want to get you something you already had, Betty."

Betty brings a Mistletoe

Betty: "At Christmas you can kiss someone underneath a sprig of mistletoe.."
PP: "All right. I'll hold the mistletoe. Who are you going to kiss?"

PP is Santa Claus 2007

Betty: "It's easy. You say Ho! Ho! Ho! and lots of children come to you for presents."
PP: "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
Betty: "Of course as any actor great knows, it depends how you say it."

PP prepares for christmas

Betty: "You put a Christmas stocking at the bottom of your bed..."
PP: "I haven't got a stocking."
Betty: "And then Santa comes down the chimney..."
PP: "I haven't got a chimney."
Betty: "Professor, the best present you could receive is some positive thinking"

BETTY GETS SUSPICIOUS

"It wasn't me Betty!"

BETTY SEEKS TRUE LOVE

Betty: eccentric lonely heart seeks robust violin to play along with..
Violin: "no strings attached"

BETTY RAW FOOD

PP: really everything raw? no tea no soup?
Betty: You have no inner peace professor

BETTY AND PUSSYCAT

Betty: "Is that the way you pull toms?"
Cat: "I learned this method from Paris Hilton!"

BETTY DOES YOGA

Guru: "And, do we remember how we got into this position?"
Betty: "I'd rather know how to get out of it!"

BETTY DISCUSSES MODERN TECHNOLOGY

Betty: " Old sweaters, old shoes, old books. Don't you like anything that's new?
PP: "Oh yes. I've taken a liking to the typewriter."

PP is at it again

"There are always things that one cannot really talk about.."

PP's war against meaningless mobile phoning

BETTY GETS INSIDE

"Thank you for letting me in professor, I'll be your finest employee; motivated, loyal and with a sharp eye for what is really needed"

BETTY TALKS PP INTO HOUSEHOLD MATTERS

"Just think about all those poor rich people, who'll never know what a pleasure it is to dustclean together!"

Betty and Babel

Today betty wanted to make a good movie

Yesterday Betty saw Babel. She thought it was an amazing film but it did give a little bit reason to cry. It is always good to cry of course, but this time it felt a little unsure. It was like crying about the world. On one hand it was good, Brad Pitt was good, (Betty and Brad sounds like an awsome couple) and the other ones were good actors. But there was also the sad misunderstanding. Since Betty is all about clearing up misunderstandings, Babel was a hard one to watch. Let's hope there is some wisdom in the line: it was just a film

BETTY COMES HOME AFTER DAY OF CLEANING

NO NO NO! I refuse to say anything about the house of Professor Periwinkle, in spite of all your nagging and hassling. I'm a discrete cleaning lady. It would be really a violation of privacy if I would reveal what I have seen up there. Dusty secrets I TELL YOU. Of course it's not easy. I'd prefer telling you all details. For example how I felt when I had to open that strange little box that I found underneath his cupboard, with that strange smell coming from it. I had to see if it was rubbish or not and, it was just terrible to open that box filled with fuzzy papers, looking like love letters, and such shock it was to see him on these photographs. PP was so young and tall and handsome, I was in complete awe. But you see, there I go too far already. Already too far in my exposition.
All right, all right, a small detail was that I did find a few socks. A few smelly and dusty socks. They were laying behind the stacks of old newspapers in his study. Okay, the socks were dirty and strange looking but it might not have been his socks. It could have been somebody elses socks. Yes, somebody with small feet..
Then I found...o no. that would be too much to tell. Well, maybe it's all right. I found a hairnet. Yes I did. An old dirty hairnet, with still a few curly hairs in it. Under his pillow. I know, isn't it terrible? I threw it away of course, what if he saw me with it!
Well, and then... dear people. And now you must be ready: I found out that PP has.... a date! Yes, this coming Sunday!! In the park. Because I was co-incidentally vacuumcleaning his desk and dusting his organizer, I read this appointment. Her name is Angelica. She lives nearby because when I called her number I heard the address mentioned on the answering machine..
O people, isn't that exciting?! That silly PP has a date!
Well, we cannot tell him that we know about it. Let's not share anything with him before anything is secure. I will leave a message tonight on that answering machine of hers saying that it's important that she wears purple. (That's his favorite color). Everything for success!

Now, i am going to call my mum for tips and tools on how to cleanse bathtubs that haven't been cleaned in twenty years.

Cheerio!

Betty

Betty applies for a job

Today Betty discovered what PP really needs and applies for a job

Dear people,
This morning I passed PP's house and guess what, when I looked through the windows, I saw him walking around under a cloud of dust. The cloud of dust followed him wherever he went, from living to kitchen and really looked like some sort of beard. But of course it wasn't. Waving with a big piece of cloth (was it his table cloth? an old scarf?) PP tried to dust the cloud from his house. But it didn't matter. It was a lost battle already.
I was flabbergasted. I think I kept watching him for almost 5 minutes, it was a little embarrassing I admit. Then my heart poored over with compassion. I mean, that man fighting his battle against dust, really touched me. I was just on the verge of knocking at the window, to tell him a little early-morning-hello, when I saw a little note hanging in the corner of the window. It was handwritten:

WANTED: CLEANING SOMEONE (EFFICIENT)
MUST LOVE PHILOSOPHY
Applications received etween 4pm and 4.10pm

Well, as I am not a stone hearted woman I rang right away. Yes, and guess what? I GOT THE JOB!
At first he was a little surprised that it was ME ringing the doorbell. And after that he got a little suspicious. But when I explained my cause a smile broke through on his face and he told me that I got the job.
It will not pay much but at least we will get to collaborate a bit more. He also mentioned something about his beard but quickly quickly I told him we would arrange the details later.

People, it's always good if you can help someone out. Of course it's not about money. I just love helping PP out. It must be an old complex that I carry with me but who cares, so happy dusting and

CHEERIO!


Betty

Betty's Poetry Service

Betty has a new service and explains to Mr. Mashimoto what it's all about

Mr.Mashimoto: Wasabi mashda mashda Mashimoto wakari hai Massi Massi Inc. Hello?

Betty: It's Betty!

Mr. Mashimoto: Bitty! Ghow aw you?! haahahahahaha

Betty: I'm good, how aw gyu?

Mr. Mashimoto: ? ah, good. business good. Tokyooo hahahaha
he Ghow aw T-shirts? Business as usual? haha

Betty: Yes. But I start to think about a poetry service. In Dutch.

Mr. Mashimoto: What? You wanna sell cars?

Betty: No. Poetry

Mr. Mashimoto: ah I see. Paltry.....isz good business?

Betty: Yes.

Mr. Mashimoto: How about I order?

Betty: Order!? Great! What topic would you like me to rhyme on?

Mr. Mashimoto: topic..ah...European girls. Or eh..no European institutions. Yeah. No European Union

Betty: all right. It will be in Dutch though

Mr. Mashimoto: yes. Dutch girls. Dutch onion. Onion isz good for paltry!

Betty: (sighs) Mr. Mashimoto,....never mind

Mr. Mashimoto: ahahaha, newer mind...hahaha funny girl. Oh, customer comes. Bye Bitty!

Betty: Cheerio!


Dear readers, it's true. Christmas is coming. Saint Nicolas too. If you need poems, I'll write them for You.


Cheerio Betty

THE ART OF GETTING FAMOUS: RULE 9

Dear people, today Betty presents rule 9 for becoming famous

I've started to suspect that that Professor Periwinkle isn't completely normal. Just yesterday I ran into him in the street. I was on my way to a very professional business meeting, and wore a very nice cream coloured business suit, and he looked at me as if he saw someone running naked in the street. So I stood still to say hello and he just stared at me. Then he pointed (!) and produced some very peculiar sounds. Like ooh, and the vikings, and ah and Asterix and no no, women in boats etc.
At first I thought he pointed at his beard, that was wrapped around my neck. But then he seemed to change his mind. He mumbled something about Venetian Art and a guy named after an Italian Pasta (Vermicelli or something) and than he ran off. That silly man. I wanted to offer him his beard, but then he pretended that he wanted to have it back, only by post. Well hello! I am a professional, not a Postorder Company.

Dear people, if you want to become famous then please follow my ninth rule: never stare at professionals. It's just not professional.

If you have any peculiar idea in mind, about someone walking in the street, and you cannot suppress the need to say something weird, then just add that you're a casting director looking for a protagonist for your next film. Or, that you want to start a church quire for dogs.

Cheerio!

Betty

BETTY GETS SECURE

Do you know this situation: that you have a friend, it might be just an acquaintance, that you have no idea of why you keep seeing him? In my case, this happened with a young security officer who stood at my door a few times, and really, it was all I could take. He was so boring that I fell asleep the MOMENT he rang the door. At some point he told me that he had seen me standing in my living, with my head fallen forward, and so this forced me to tell him that I had a sleeping disorder which had to do with doorbells. Of course, this wasn't true but I had to make something up. I couldn't tell him that I was tired of having to listen to his endless conversations about fur hats or courtyards or the people he needed to provide with security. He thought security was exciting but I thought it is extremely boring. Although we all need it, there is nothing as boring and predictable as that. So what did I do? Well, I tried to give him some sort of a nod, and then he went away. (I think he lives in a small country near the East Coast now).

It's hard to find an exciting man these days. Often, IF you find one at all, he has already been found by someone else. So what is left, is weird men. Take PP. He is SUCH a strange man. All his life, he spends on waggling to the supermarket, getting a package of cofee and then moving slowly back into the house to lock himself up with an old typerwriter. According to him, that is all he wants to do. I don't believe him. I think it is all he CAN do. Although I head, he has become a member of a dating site! Then, he shares his whole life with me. According to me, this clearly indicates a personality problem. From both sides.
The other thing that bothers me is the so called 'beard issue' that we're facing. Yesterday I tried to wrap the beard around my neck to see if it suits me. I believe it looks sexy. So, I think I'll keep it there for a while and see if he notices. Of course, he still hasn't gotten back to me about the e-mail I sent him, but perhaps when he gets cold, (and he gets cold all the time) he'll be in touch soon.

Cheerio!
Betty

BETTY GETS SECURE

Do you know this situation: that you have a friend, it might be just an acquaintance, that you have no idea of why you keep seeing him? In my case, this happened with a young security officer who stood at my door a few times, and really, it was all I could take. He was so boring that I fell asleep the MOMENT he rang the door. At some point he told me that he had seen me standing in my living, with my head fallen forward, and so this forced me to tell him that I had a sleeping disorder which had to do with doorbells. Of course, this wasn't true but I had to make something up. I couldn't tell him that I was tired of having to listen to his endless conversations about fur hats or courtyards or the people he needed to provide with security. He thought security was exciting but I thought it is extremely boring. Although we all need it, there is nothing as boring and predictable as that. So what did I do? Well, I tried to give him some sort of a nod, and then he went away. (I think he lives in a small country near the East Coast now).

It's hard to find an exciting man these days. Often, IF you find one at all, he has already been found by someone else. So what is left, is weird men. Take PP. He is SUCH a strange man. All his life, he spends on waggling to the supermarket, getting a package of cofee and then moving slowly back into the house to lock himself up with an old typerwriter. According to him, that is all he wants to do. I don't believe him. I think it is all he CAN do. Although I head, he has become a member of a dating site! Then, he shares his whole life with me. According to me, this clearly indicates a personality problem. From both sides.
The other thing that bothers me is the so called 'beard issue' that we're facing. Yesterday I tried to wrap the beard around my neck to see if it suits me. I believe it looks sexy. So, I think I'll keep it there for a while and see if he notices. Of course, he still hasn't gotten back to me about the e-mail I sent him, but perhaps when he gets cold, (and he gets cold all the time) he'll be in touch soon.

Cheerio!
Betty

BETTY WAITS FOR A REPLY

Dear people, one of the big problems we women have, is that men don't respond. They just don't. It takes so much talking, you might just as well have three tongues. When they finally get your message, they wonder why you didn't open up your mouth before. In the mean time, we are totally exhausted and gather to drink hugh pots of tea to get our dry tongues to work normally again.
Sometimes I think men don't respond deliberately, so they can rest and keep to themselves. Really, the amounts of resting men I have found these days, it's just overwhelming. They are EVERYWHERE. In parks, on doorsteps, or in the middle of traffic jams. They smile all the time and keep telling you that they have a plan for the next day. (With strong emphasis on 'next day')

Take PP. I wrote him this e-mail, telling him that I found a piece of his beard in front of my doorstep, and guess what, he hasn't responded. Nothing. Not a word. Not even a confirmation that he got my e-mail.
'Of course', you might say, 'anything could have happened'. Yes, he could have fallen ill. Or taken a train to Prague. Or have forgotten to come home. But let's face it, how many people take a train to Prague all of a sudden? Only a handful!
Besides, PP hasn't left his house for weeks. Taking a train to Prague would be very impulsive and very strategically unlogical. No, I'll tell you what the case is. He probably hasn't read it. It's probably still sticking in his mailbox. Or, worse, he HAS read it and believes he has responded already. That happens to men all the time. In fact, I know of a man who keeps repeating things like: "Yes yes, I have already said this and this a few days ago". And: "As I told you earlier...." (but no one has heard him saying anything). And all this with this very self content tone of voice. Of course this man doesn't realize, that people know that he hasn't said ANYTHING. He just wonders why there is groups of waiting women all around his office.

So for this man and all the non responding others: if you want to be respected and become successful, then dig up some accurate replies and deliver them fast!

(this is RULE VIII of my do-it-yourself-program for becoming successful and famous and is also valid for non responding women)

Cheerio!

Betty

BETTY WRITES AN E-MAIL TO PROFESSOR PERIWINKLE

Dear people, yesterday I had a date. A date with a very difficult man. A loner so to speak. He was tall, and dark haired and he had brown teeth. From smoking. Of course I wasn't interested. I mean, of course I was. There he sat, in front of me on a stool with a big Chimay in his hand, telling me he really wanted to be with a woman (!) like me. Isn't that flattering? The problem was, he had nothing to base it on. He only met me once before, at a cinema, and after that, he kept being very determined. I was very suspicious of this man so I asked him: well, what would you say if I tell you that in fact I am a refugee? I come all the way from Mexico and have no real place on earth. You know what he said? It seemed to make no impression. The only thing he said was: well, that's what I like about you baby, your gypsy heart. In awe, I drank a big Chimay myself, looked at the vague Gypsyman in front of me and decided to write an e-mail to the one and only real man in my life till now: PP

Dear PP
I am very sorry to tell you this, but yesterday I found a piece of beard on the street. I am almost 100% absolutely sure it is a piece of your beard. I guess it was pulled off when you slammed the door behind you. I picked it up and took it to my house. Please call me if you want it back. I will not tell anyone about this.

Love
Betty

P.S: I tried to cover a small stool with it, but it didn't do enough


CHEERIO
BETTY

BETTY AND PP

I'm worried about PP dear people. I have the feeling that he doesn't take care of himself. He never goes out. He never goes groceryshopping. His beard grows longer and longer and he smiles all the time. A clear sign of someone who has no clue. When my grandmother started to smile like that, she was 89, she fell of the stairs a few days later. Still smiling but dead. It was just terrible.
Maybe I should buy him a swiffer. Or, something to take the spiders out of the corners of his house. Or, a little comb, to get the beard nice and straight. Or a soap, in the shape of a big hand so he can wash himself.
Of course I have no clue how to approach it. It is more that it breaks my heart to see all this happening.
Who has a good plan for PP?

cheerio
Betty

BETTY'S TIP FOR SUCCESS RULE VII: BE CRAZY

Today Betty presents rule VII for your succesful career: BE CRAZY

Now, what do I mean with being crazy? That you need to fly up to a window and yell that the aliens are coming to get you? That you go to a wedding, wearing a wedding dress and dance with the groom all night? That you marry your dog and tell everyone that you would love to have children together? Yes, I do mean this. It is all very crazy and very right to do.

But, you're saying, isn't it foolish to be crazy? Will people not start to see me in a way I don't want to be seen. YES. THAT IS RIGHT. But, when becoming succesful you'll have to stand out somehow. There is too much competition to not do it.
It is up or it is out. So enjoy the crazy guy in yourself (it is always a guy) and let him do whatever he thinks its best.
Last night I suddenly felt the need to stand on my head. Just for a minute or two and so I did. Of course standing on your head in the local bakery isn't the most easy thing to do. I had to catch the loafs of bread that were falling from the shelves with my feet and a few cakes slid from the counter on top of an old lady, but hey, it was a real event for the baker and his customers. Afterwards I apologized and got myself a croissant. Succes ensured!

Cheerio!

Betty

BETTY'S TIP FOR SUCCESS RULE VI: DRIVE WITH YOUR HEART

I think the heart is an insane instrument, don't you agree? On one hand it is a very constant factor in life, a little bit overregular to my taste, on the other hand, it is a very emotional creature and it has no rules. So it seems. Of course, the heart is a beautiful thing, because it is ever there and hey, who can live without it? I still need to meet the first person who can do without one. It would be a terrible person though, a heartless being without love.

I would love to speak to a heart sometime and ask him how it feels to be so capricious. I mean, following a heart can be very risky. You might loose direction or you might loose what you had before!
Therefore dear almost famous wannabes, and I speak from my heart here, is that the advice that I can give you is a little boring. It is something like; be sensible. be smart. Now you're almost famous, you need to be very careful. It can all go wrong at the tail. So, my advice ( and I whisper this while I am writing) is: attach your fans to you but never pull your heart out unless you want to bleed.

Well, I'm off to a party now, with many celebs from all over the world. I am gonna sing a few songs and have some wine.
What do you think? isn't that the life we all should lead?

cheerio!

Betty

BETTY'S TIP FOR SUCCESS RULE V: KISS WITH FLAIR

Hello there, welcome back. Today Betty has figured out rule 5
Rule 5 is intense but secure: KISS AROUND
Although I write this with my last bit of energy, since the day was long, I Betty, feel that we need to discuss this very important principle of being famous.
Of course copying Britney Spears who kissed Madonna and then her husband Kevin and a few babies, is no good. None of these kisses have any lasting effect (except for 2 babies) because Britney looses all her connections slowly but securely. Now she is getting a divorce from kevin and oooo well kissing will be hard after this...

No, you gotta start kissing people who have a lasting impact on your career. For example, start trying to kiss a good hero, like your favorite local politician. Could be anyone and he could even be dead; in that case, kiss a good statue. We have a few great generals in Brussels that are easy to be kissed as long as you handle it with care.
In any case, you gotta kiss around. and get your pictures taken. In case you have a bleeding heart that belongs to someone, it is very difficult to start kissing around and surprise your fans kiss after kiss, but remember, the road to fame is a rocky road. You got to take the risk of a good mono, or something else bacterial but then, hey, after all that hugging and kissing, someone will take the right pictures and put you in the Daily News. think about Greta Garbo and Marilyn Monroe who were great kissers. Or Hitchkock, he loved kissing birds.
And that, is what it's all about people: getting your face in the daily news. So give yourself some flair and go for it.

BIG KISS
Betty

BETTY'S TIP FOR SUCCESS RULE IV: CHANGE YOUR MIND

Dear peole, today we'll speak about rule IV: CHANGE YOUR MIND

This rule seems very complex, but is easy to learn. As you all are ruthless and merciless for becoming famous and successful, you have tendency to focus too hard. Therefore I recommend to practise the skill of CHANGING YOUR MIND when necessary. People who are capable of changing their own mind, are usually capable of changing other peoples mind . This is a WONDERFUL tool. It helps you to influence anyone who is not convinced of your brilliance. Please hide your flip flopper qualities and present yourself as a steady hill. And then, be as flexible and surprising as a Kroatian gymnastic.

The idea behind this is simple: you've got to surprise the others to unite them. Fans usually unite in amazement about a star. Napoleon tended to surprise everyone; one day he invented the handkerchief. Instead of snorking his snotty nose and sound like a pig, he blew his nose in some piece of cloth. Of course, at first he couldn't convince himself of the brilliance of this silly new custom, but then HE changed his mind and within a few months, the WHOLE OF FRANCE changed their mind. Many people used their dresses but when fashion changed (since the designers changed their mind also) they ran around with different things like curtains, sheets and in the end kitchen towels. This way Napoleon had his way and he created a big mass of subordinates.

In these days, we don't have Napoleon but others: Paris Hilton, same, there is no steadiness in the girl and yet she stands like the Eiffeltower. Renee Zellweger, changes her mind all the time about anything she can think off. George Clooney, changes changes changes. Everyday he looks a little bit different. Every year, even more. It's a very powerful tool that I would like to give you.

Of course, when in doubt, feel free to ask questions. For more suggestions about how to look for mind boggling changes, I refer to Seeking Woman who returned from some trip just this week

Cheerio!

Betty

BETTY'S TIP FOR SUCCESS RULE III

Dear people, welcome back at Betty's new series: Tips and Tools for success. Today we present RULE III: TAKE CARE

Being famous like you almost are, gives you the responsibility of taking care of your fans. Probably, hunting for fame, you have no interest in taking care of anybody but yourself, but it is very important to practise this skill. Start with taking care of a little thing, like a plant or your own hair. It is ALWAYS good to build a relationship, even with something that already belongs to you.

Remember: Show the integrity of your sudden attention. Mistrust is a big barrier to overcome in ANY relationship (Betty's relationship with her home mosquito Binny is still very fragile); with the right amount of love, light, warmth, truth and earth, any relationship could florish.

But, you might say, HOW do I take care? Well, in case you have 1 fan, start with the giving of a CLEAR compliment. Something like: WHAT WONDERFUL FEET YOU HAVE! Walking must be so easy for you! Then, it is necessary to intensify the contact by saying something important. Say; "I support you on all your silly projects and completely trust your mad decisionmaking, whatever that might lead to in your near future." This allows your fan to be completely himself, meaning NOT perfect and gives him all reason to love you. As Betty always states: pointing with one finger to someone else, means pointing with the other three to yourself.

For making fans I would like to refer to the last posting of Professor Periwinkle in which he mentions locations where you could easily connect to people. For now, good luck with applying RULE III.

Next time we discuss rule IV of becoming succesful and famous.

Cheerio!

Betty

BETTY'S TIPS FOR SUCCESS II

As promised, today Betty presents rule II for becoming succesful and famous, in addition to PP's wonderful new series: How to meet New People

RULE II: BE THE ANSWER
For those of you who will be famous and succesful soon, it is very important to start focusing on those two flappers sticking out of your head: your beautiful ears. People nowadays tend to focus on the eyes, but the ears can do some good for you two. Betty's Newsletter is, how co-incidental, devoted to the EARS this month, so please check it out to update your knowledge. The idea behind listening to people is to then present yourself as THE ANSWER to any question they might have. Like yesterday, when Betty talked to an answer, she found out how comforting and reassuring that felt.

Betty: I have a question

ANSWER: And you want to know what's the answer?

Betty: Yes

Answer: Right. The answer is right.

Betty: Good answer, what was the question?

Answer: I don't know. I just do answers

Betty: Okay...gee, you must give many answers during the day

Answer: Is that a question?

Betty: Yes

Answer: Okay... yes,..the answer is yes

Betty: Yes..All right...(silence) would january 2030 be a good month to go on holiday?

Answer: Absolutely, 100%

Betty: thanks...just what I needed

Answer: No thanks

As you can see, this conversation could lead to great friendship and deep connection between two people who just met.
Succes is always related to answering the questions of people, who then will become your fans. If you feel nobody wants to become your fan just tell them a little bit about yourself: what you ate today, or where you'd love to go. Fans love to talk to famous people and since you'll be one soon it should come easy.

Next time we'll discuss the third rule for becoming a succesful person...

Cheerio!

Betty

BETTY'S TIPS FOR SUCCESS

Today Betty presents the first RULE that will help you to become famous

When you're a famous person, you need to meet and greet many strange and unsuccesful people, and you'll need to wash your hands all the time and go to the hairdresser very often. So the first thing is to decide: can I live with this or not? If not, then it's better to forget about the whole thing and do something more common (like: making muffins at home)

But if you still feel like it, than Betty has the following first lesson for you:

RULE I: EMBODY YOURSELF
Many people aren't where their body is. They live somewhere else. They dream and move to another planet on a daily basis.
Others limit themselves to JUST being a head. Especially nowadays, with all these computers, people don't remember their body and what it feels like. So there is lots of space for you left; you just need to use your WHOLE BODY, like Madonna. Don't start dragging out pieces of woods to build a cross to hang yourself at, but just move like the woman (don't sing!). Think big. Think as if there were large audiences applauding for you. Then, with this feeling incorporated, go out and start to make your first important contacts with future fans, on whom you'll need to build your fame on. Your body is your future

Now, for the right environment to start in, I would like to refer to the postings of Professor Periwinkle about where to meet people. Please write to us about any questions that you might have on this and we'll answer.

Tomorrow we'll present RULE II for how to become famous and succesful.


Cheerio!


Betty

Betty Bras Rooted

Today Betty talks to Guru about feeling at home

"I long for a home, because I never seem to fit in, " said Betty to Guru, who was sitting next to her on a bench.
"But you do!" said Guru.
"Well," said Betty, "I suppose fitting in means that you're rooted in some place or so, but I haven't felt that for a long time."
"Then," said Guru," then you'll have to go back in time and remember at what place you felt rooted."
"Hm," said Betty and went back in time with her mind. "I guess it was when I felt very connected and very inspired and very mystical and surrounded by good spirits..."
"It's a little much," said Guru. 'Why can't you say, I felt at the right place..."
"Because it wasn't really that I felt being at the right place," said Betty, "it was more a place of connection and inspiration"
"Betty baby, you make things very complicated..at what place did you feel rooted?"
"New York," answered Betty. "No no! Durango! No! Moscow. Paris!...when I had an affair and a job and.."
"Betty! you're not like UPS, located everywhere. Come on now, where was the best and real home?"
"The womb..." murmured Betty.
"Well, then follow it!..." grumped Guru, not understanding the complexity of it at all

Do you have a solution for the problem of not feeling at home, that lots of people have, please let Betty know at betty.bras@yahoo.co.uk or just comment on this posting.

SUPERBETTY

"If you don't feel well," said Guru, "than just open your ears and listen. That's the first thing to do. Listen to your inner voice and to what it has to say."
"Hm," said Betty.
"Than," said Guru, "you got to act and try to embrace what's there, send out the positive and hope for the universe to return something good..."
"Aha," said Betty
"Than," said Guru wisely, "try to inspire yourself by thinking lightly and positive and that all things happen for the learning!"
"O dear", said Betty."Last night I dreamt that I was Superbetty. I ran out of a window, jumped on an airplane, crashed myself onto a few buildings and bumped into a few people. It seems to me, that what you're saying is like a dream. Being all light, inspired and positive so you'll go into a flying flow. My flying flow was scary and not so much to learn from."
Guru looked puzzled because he never had heard of a flying flow. "Betty," he said, " there is a flow, and you can fly. And that you're Superbetty anyway, that's something that no one else can do anything about.
"Hm," said Betty and felt very very shy, and than happy and than awkward. And than Super. It was a complex moment in the day

BETTY and The Moneylorry

Today Betty meets a Geriatrics Moneylorry

Betty: So your job is to entertain senior citizens?

GM: Yes, than they'll laugh and they'll give me all their money, clothing and wisdom

Betty: Wow

GM: I also collect money from other senior folks; like senior executives, senior managers and senior football players although the latter don't give much for my entertainment

Betty: How do you entertain them?

GM: By acting young and stupid

Inspiration Consult

Today Betty gets a phone call from Mr. Mashimoto

Betty: Mr. Mashimoto! How are you?

Mr. Mashimoto: Ah, Bitty, Bitty I'm fine...Just came back from business travel!

Betty: How wonderful, was it a good trip?

Mr. Mashimoto: Ah haha! no tripping no no! Travel! hahaha funny girl

Betty: Did find some new clients?

Mr. Mashimoto: (secretive) I found new clients. Very boring.

Betty: Sorry? Boring?

Mr. Mashimoto: Yes, clients very unghappy people. They work, they eat, they make business but very unghappy people...it is difficult Bitty. They need inspiration!

Betty: What should we do?

Mr. Mashimoto: hahahaha nothing. Just make joke!

Betty: (sighs) But, maybe some training or something?

Mr. Mashimoto: No...no training. Just make joke, drink... like life. Joke!

Betty: I see. Well, it was just an idea. So, anything else happened?

Mr. Mashimoto: No! No! Nothing happened.

Betty: Yes.,..

Mr. Mashimoto: aaahh joke haha..yes bye bye!

Betty: Oops..all right then...Cheerio!

Mr. Mashimoto: wakari masda massi hai hai Bitty...(cough cough)

BETTY BRAS NEWSLETTER SEPTEMBER

Today Betty Bras First Newsletter came out.
Betty thanks wonderful designer JQ!!
For newsletter send your e-mail to: betty.bras@yahoo.co.uk

BETTY BRAS GIFT SHOP

INSPIRATION STATION

"Well, " said Betty to herself today. "If it is not about the land and nature where you're living although it might help, that one can find total inner peace, and if it is not about sucking your friends and family empty for love, warmth and attention; than it probably is all inside of you. Just like the Buddhists say." (She spoke out loud, that crazy Betty)
"I will have to create it. My world. The vision, the values, the journey. Yes, I might even have some tales to tell!" Betty got excited. So she took herself up from the tree she was hanging around with and started her way, meanwhile ignoring the nervous glances of Seeking Woman and PP who just decided to make a good soup.
It had just rained and it was a beautiful morning

BETTY BIKE

The problem of today was the matter of the bike. Did Betty need a bike or not? It was an expensive bike. She saw the vehicle at a bike store, where it just stood. Shiny, strong, healthy looking. A Giant Expression. Purple. Very spiritual looking too. But Betty could not be pursuaded to buy the Giant right away.
'Do the Belgians have Giant Expressions?'Betty wondered, thinking about Brussels where nobody seemed to express anything for bikes. But at least, there were two bikers that cycled around. Although, they probably were just poor people with no money for a car.
Maybe, Betty had another thought, I need a car first. In Brussels people need a car to be cool, fast and safe. I'll buy a bike later, AFTER I have bought a car.
But the Dutch Amsterdam bike loomed in the window and Betty, who did not exactly know what to loom meant, thought the Giant Expression bike really needed her.
"I'll buy the damn thing, she thought
No, I'll wait, she thought in the next moment.
No, I'll buy it and I'll place it next to my house so that I'll have it
No, I'll buy it AFTER I have bought a car
I'll buy both!
I'll go by train, with the bike on the train, to Brussels and than I'll bike to a car store."
There was no way out.
In the end Betty bought just a little train ticket. To get by.
The rest stayed unclear. TBD

BETTY AND MUM AND DAD

Today Betty visited her mum and dad in Durango. Mum was preoccupied with being ill. She was upstairs in the house, in bed. Dad was very preoccupied with making tea for mum, in the mean time grinding his teeth since mum had taken on the role of an English patient (in terms of tea)
"It's too hot, dad
It's too strong, dad
It's not strong enough dad
I need a cooky with that
I definitely need two cookies with that
Oh no...this tastes horrible
Oh no....this is like mud
No more...that's enough!!"
ENOUGH! said dad and ran downstairs with the last bit of tea in the teapot. "I'm not going to serve that woman anything again. I'm going to sleep in the garage and be cold."
And so he did.
Betty felt very bad for dad. "You want a cup of tea to be warm?" she asked. But dad had no interest. According to him, marriage was just a big hassle. But, you are married for 45 years, said Betty. You should know how to make her a cup of tea.
But dad shook his head. "SHE is married for 45 years," he said. "But I've kept single all my life"
And so it stayed.
Betty in the end made a nice little cup of tea for herself.
To keep warm

BETTY BUTTERFLY MUG

BETTY FRINGE

Betty went to Edinburgh to the FRINGE festival

It was fabulous. The festival, the theater, the artists and Seeking Woman, who joined Betty at the festival were fabulous. There was lots of comedy and laughter. There was also street theater (oh well street theater..) They saw Mette Lizby and Omar Marzouk with their show Cartoon Comedy, they saw FREAKS in THE BOX with two very crazy men from New York who did an acrobats act with interesting movements. They saw Shakespeares Toilets and Jessica directed by Peter Stein and they saw some other tales of horror at night. They slept at a hostel full of women of youth. They spent all their money on cappucino's and useless books about spiritituality (as if that would help to find your soulmate) and they sat down a lot with people from other cultures. You know. to be like that.
Are you bored? Organise a fringe festival. Www.edfringe.com
It is over though! Too bad!

Cheerio!

Betty

BETTY READS ANNIE MAC BAIN

Today Betty reads the wonderful detective thriller The Name of the Game, a third novel by Mark Corner a.k.a Professor Periwinkle, about lady detective Annie MacBain. This time the thrilling murder story is set in Egypt.

Are you interested? Check it out on this page: Books by Professor Periwinkle!
For fragments of this wonderful and exciting detective story go to
professorperiwinkle's blog