Today Betty decided to tell you her true story. Of course Betty is not a person like you. She is Betty and that makes a whole lot of difference. She was born in a big family from a small town in Mexico. Out of privacy reasons we cannot reveal where exactly that town was located, but it was always hot in that area and there were many little white houses and donkeys.
Betty was sweating like mad underneath he colorful clothing and her enormous zombrero.
When she became 9 years old, her mother told her to leave her family to spread happiness in the world. Of course Betty wasn't very happy. At first she thought about beating her mother up but since she loved her mother so much she kept her fists into her little red pockets. Then she got sad. She thought she would be incredibly lonely and never find any new friend. But her mother assured her she would be fine. 'Your home is where you are' she said. Instead of talking to herself all the time, Betty would have dialogues with all the people she would encounter at her travels. Her mother warned her (psychic as she was) for a Japanese guy with a call center in Tokyo. But furthermore, really anyone would be fine to talk to.
And that is how it happened. Wearing a red dress and little black shoes, Betty wandered off to spread dialogues wherever she had the chance. At first she thought she would not stay away for too long and that it would just be a short journey. But after a few years had passed by, she realised that her traveling would become a life long adventure.
So that's how it went. Betty misses her 7 brothers, her lovely grandmother, her mother, her father (especially his grand moustache dipped in the usual avvocadomousse) and her dog Bountybitten very much. But everyday, she puts on a cheerful attitude and tries to make conversation all over the world.
Betty travels a lot whilst carrying a little bag on her back, filled with interesting luggage. If you see her, just start a chat because she might be able to answer all your life questions. In her bag she carries her 10 most important tools: humour, tactlessness, tact, emotional drama, emotional intelligence, wild ideas, 1 dumb idea, cool thoughts, half an hour of fucked up timing and horrific sexyness. The latter is a little weird. but Betty IS a little weird. After all, she raised herself and then you get weird outcome.
However, Betty is here to take you on a journey and give you some clear information about how to be more authentic and happy. Stay in tune and learn how to shape your mouth when you say cheerio!, how to use your bottom in a better self promoting way, how to dress, how to think positive, how to deal with naggers, how to handle the dull, how to collect stamps, how to live life orgasmically, how to interact with strangers, how to handle fertility problems, how to handle HIS fertility problem, how to get into the Power of Now, how to meditate and find ZEN, how to get enlightened, how to get pregnant, how to get unpregnant, how to get pregnant again, how to stay young, and how to stay away from evil men with long beards and big hands (especially the red haired).
So reader, that be it for now
Next time, Betty will reveal you her most preserved inner secret
cheerio!
DETECTIVE ANNIE MACBAIN by Prof. Perwinkle
